Why I Felt Cr*p Being ‘Thin’ ….

I’ve always had boobs and a bum and they are the first things to go up and down in size when my weight changes!

There’s all this talk nowadays about having a ‘positive body image’ and embracing your curves – plus of course there are now models like Ashley Graham who are kind of revolutionising the model world.

People say it’s important to be beautiful on the inside, and of course that is true, but I’m sorry – call me shallow if you like – but quite honestly, for me personally, there’s no getting away from the fact that if I put on weight, am feeling sluggish and all my favourite clothes are tight, I feel rubbish and it definitely affects my self esteem!

However, being too thin can have just as negative an effect – as I found out….

My weight has always yo-yo’d to a certain extent and I would say that for my height (short!) and body type (hourglass), I feel and look my best at around a UK size 12 – i.e I’m eating healthily but can still have the odd treat!

The biggest I’ve ever been was a size 16, about six years ago when I was miserable in my job and comfort eating at my desk all the time. I suppose I still felt fairly attractive and I could still buy nice clothes, but I was aware I wasn’t a very healthy weight for someone of my height and build and I didn’t really feel like ‘me’.

I will always remember one of the Journalists at the radio station I was working at referring to me as a ‘big girl’ which is just ridiculous because size 16 is the national average, but I was mortified and his comment made me feel really negatively about myself.

That woke me up to the way I was eating and I started a healthier food regime with some gentle exercise. I started to lose weight, get back to my normal shape and that’s when I realised my confidence had been a little low.

Ironically, just as I had got back down to a size 12, I had to have a routine tummy operation which went wrong and I became extremely ill, very quickly shrinking to a size 6.

I’m never going to forget when I came out of hospital a month later and saw myself in the full-length mirror in our bedroom – I’d completely lost my boobs, hips and bum and my legs that I had always moaned were too big were like little bony sticks!

I actually felt far worse about myself than when I had been at my heaviest, I felt boyish and unattractive and I promised myself I would never moan about putting on weight again.

Some people can be a size 6 or 8, look great and feel healthy – equally I have friends who are a size 16/18 who look fantastic, which shows what an individual and personal thing weight and body shape is and really highlights why I believe women must try not to compare themselves to others and just focus on their own physical well-being.

Trust me I know that is difficult, especially with the way the media is nowadays – you’ve only got to look at my instagram to see how often I put a full body shot on there, err pretty much never, because being in a world of glamorous bloggers can be intimidating at times – but I think in any aspect of life, as soon as you start comparing yourself to others you have a recipe for insecurity and self-doubt.

I don’t believe we should feel, or be made to feel, the need to be perfect and what I aim for is to be a healthy version of myself. I know I’m pretty happy being a size 12 and dressing to suit my shape…. so at times when I feel my clothes are tight and things are wobbling a bit, I try to work harder to look after myself rather than mentally beating myself up.

I also try to style my wardrobe so that it’s flattering to my shape, however big or small that may be….  and I really think that’s something which is key – being aware of what is flattering on your body and not buying things just because they are on trend – if the shape isn’t the best for you, find something else!

Recently a fellow blogger has been working on a big project relating to body image and I was asked to contribute, writing about how I stay positive about my body – it was really interesting to see all the other girl’s responses. You can find the post here.

I know there are always going to be times when I will feel down about myself, there are always going to be people with better legs, better boobs – whatever!…… I believe we must try to stay positive about our bodies, look after our well-being and if things aren’t quite as firm or slim as we would like them to be, keep it in perspective as there truly are far worse things in life that we may/do have to worry about.

So when we aren’t feeling our best, we have to just try to take a few little positive steps to take extra care of our bodies and remember to be kind to ourselves!

 

Tiffany x

 

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29 Comments

  1. June 25, 2017 / 3:39 pm

    Wow great post! I’m a size 12 and I feel big all the time, but we have Ashley Graham to help us feel more positive. I just try to eat right and exercise well. Thank you for sharing

    • June 25, 2017 / 9:56 pm

      Thanks Ash, I think it’s really rotten that you are made to feel big at a size 12 but like you say, things are getting better with people like Ashley Graham being in the spotlight….and I think you look fantastic!

  2. June 25, 2017 / 4:27 pm

    Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! Thanks for being honest and open about your weight. I feel like even though there are more campaigns for positive body image, people don’t often share about their experience of changing weights (except to get excited about being smaller, of course) and I really appreciate you sharing this!!! It’s so encouraging.

    • June 25, 2017 / 10:00 pm

      Thanks so much Emma! Xx I totally agree, all you tend to hear about is people talking about how they’ve lost weight etc!

  3. June 25, 2017 / 4:49 pm

    This is so true. I think we are always bound to judge ourselves far more harshly than we need to. It’s important to remember that how we see ourselves is not the same as how everyone else sees us, since having my daughter I’m far more comfortable in my skin (and fat!) because I’ve shifted how I see myself and now am much happier. Great post.

    • June 25, 2017 / 10:03 pm

      Thanks Olivia yes we are our worst critic aren’t we – that is so great to hear you feel more comfortable in your body after having your daughter as sadly that isn’t always the case is it so that’s brilliant!

  4. June 25, 2017 / 7:59 pm

    Tiff, this is such an important issue you’re talking about!!! I completely understand the pressure in here, fashion and lifestyle industry which blogging is a part of, although it’s wonderful on one hand, tends to be incredibly cruel, shallow and judgemental on the other.

    I’ve been struggling with my weight for years due to my hypothyroidism, the number on the scale is constantly going up and down and if I don’t watch what I eat super carefully I can easily gain 8 kg in a month. For me the moment to lose weight is when my clothes don’t fit anymore and although it’s completely ridiculous I feel the huge pressure to explain myself to the others because I’m what you’d call a “skinny fat” type and people criticise me for trying to lose weight as I am “still skinny”. I don’t give a damn if I’m size 6 or 8, if I’m forced to wear old baggy trousers because I can’t zip up my favourite dress anymore, there’s no way I’d feel attractive and happy about myself.

    And I believe that the way we look can influence our self confidence greatly so it doesn’t matter what the others say or what number there is on a label, if you aren’t happy in your skin, you have the right to change it and the other way round, if you are happy, you shouldn’t feel any pressure to meet somebody else’s expectation. We are all different and can be absolutely stunning in any size as long as we, ourselves, feel good about it.

    The only piece of my body I’d encourage all the body shamers to take a genuine interest in is my middle finger. Xx

    • June 25, 2017 / 9:53 pm

      Hi Mal, thank you! I thought it was very interesting to hear about the fashion designer who said she didn’t have anything as big as a size 10 on the week that I was writing this blog?!! I really am all for embracing yourself as you are and loving your body no matter what size it is, but I had to be honest and say that putting on weight does affect the way I feel about myself so I understand some of the judgement that’s out there towards people’s weight… one of the problems is though, that when people do so quickly judge, they don’t take into account the possible individual person’s story and the reasons behind their body shape – as you are a very good example of with your hyperthyroidism! Thanks so much for your views on the subject, I think it’s a really interesting one to explore! And I absolutely LOVE your last point about the body shamers taking interest in your middle finger – fantastic! 😂😂😂

  5. Sue
    June 25, 2017 / 10:41 pm

    Just be your healthiest self and love who that is, life is for living,
    I am a size 16 and sometimes those boobs push an 18 but I don’t let it ruin my life, I try to eat healthy, walk and do mobility and flexing every day, sleep well and laugh a lot.
    I literally don’t even look at magazines anymore and this blog is my only fashion download so I am much happier not comparing myself to anyone. I also cut out reality TV, soaps and general crap TV and that works wonders too 😃

    • June 25, 2017 / 11:32 pm

      Hi Sue, yes I think that is absolutely key – not comparing yourself to others…. and good for you staying true to yourself and not being influenced by the media. I think confidence is far more attractive than thin thighs anyway! 😉

  6. June 25, 2017 / 10:42 pm

    Hi Tiffany, brilliant post! I have always struggled with my weight. During the 70’s I was a ‘good’ size 12. During the 80’s I played squash 5 times a week and became a smaller size 12… jogging, swimming, training for the county. During the 90’s I became involved in my business…edging on a size 14. During the noughties I retired…still a 14. The thing is that at the age of 60 I’m not my peek size, ie size 12 but tbh I struggled with that anyway. I now buy classic clothe in cashmere, silk and the all important bikinis for Lanzarote in a size 14 and the most important thing is I’m happy.

    • June 25, 2017 / 11:28 pm

      Hi Heather, that’s brilliant – and you look fabulous – to be happy in your own body, for yourself and nobody else is so important! 🙂

  7. June 26, 2017 / 2:05 am

    I love that you can appreciate “your best” size. I know what my body is happy with too physically not jut aesthetically. Love your honesty xx

  8. June 26, 2017 / 4:25 am

    I’m glad that you have gotten to a point where you are happy and comfortable with your weight! It’s tough in this day and age with social media making it so easy to compare yourself to others. I think everyone should strive to be the healthiest and happiest they can be instead of focusing on weight/shape. Easier said then done though! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  9. June 26, 2017 / 10:56 am

    This was SUCH a fantastic post and I’m so glad you shared your journey. I can relate to this so much because I went through something very similar but it’s always important to listen to your body, be aware of any drastic changes and well… everything in moderation! xxx

  10. June 27, 2017 / 12:02 am

    It’s really inspiring that you are not afraid to put out there what you feel about body image. For me, I’m a petite girl with curves and there are definitely times I look in the mirror and wish I had a different shape or when I try on clothes and feel frustrated that they totally don’t work for me. I think feeling great in your own skin is so much more important than looking a certain way.
    Elizabeth | Confidentlyelegant.com

  11. June 28, 2017 / 6:21 pm

    Love the post Tiffany! I’m glad I clicked and read this! Women needs to hear this, good job and keep it up

  12. June 28, 2017 / 7:07 pm

    I think people should speak more about this. I was in an abusive relationship where my weight was constantly brought up in a derogatory fashion, I was 11 stone, which after all the shaming ballooned to 16.5 stone. I don’t think after that I’ll ever not be body conscious. However I’m a lot better than I was, and apart from a slip last year, have maintained a reasonably healthy weight for the last 12 years. You’re spot on about different sizes fitting different people. My best friend once slimmed down to a 12, she really didn’t look well or resemble anything like the friend I’ve grew up with, she actually looked unhappy. Back at size 18 she’s glowing again.

  13. June 28, 2017 / 7:33 pm

    I am the biggest (in size) I have ever been and at times I feel the “shame” of it – but then I catch myself in the mirror (full length mirrors on the closet doors in the spare room where I practice yoga) and I beam with pride at the beautiful body I am renting for my time here. She’s beautiful! And so are you. xo

  14. June 28, 2017 / 7:46 pm

    Tiffany GREAT POST!!! I think we need to be healthy, with blood pressure and such in check including our gut and energy. Our food is our fuel, and our thoughts are too. We must accept ourselves where we are at in this moment then go from there. A size will never make us happier!

  15. June 28, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    You know, the expectations of the media are so ridiculous that, in the end, all women feel unattractive. I’ve had so many women tell me things like “you have the perfect body!” or “have you tried modeling?” and I look at those same women and think: “you look amazing, why do you compare yourself to ME?!” We like others more than ourselves, and when someone compliments us we can’t accept it and feel awkward about it.
    I think we allhave our own ideal weight like you said, and I am super upset that I bought a pair of shorts last fall that I can’t fit into right now because I gained a lot of weight around my stomach. But it’s important to be practical about that like you said. It’s too much for ME right now, but not because anyone else says so.

  16. June 29, 2017 / 2:31 am

    I really think that everybody has weight that they look and feel the best at. For some people it’s a size 4 and for some it’s a 16.

  17. June 29, 2017 / 1:02 pm

    Goodness me, that must have been a shock for you to suddenly drop down to a size 6.

  18. June 30, 2017 / 4:55 am

    This was a really interesting read. It’s funny how we receive judgement and negative comments from people no matter where we sit weight wise. I’ve always been quite a petite person, I’m barely 5″4, a size 4/6 and have often been skinny-shamed, receiving the common but rude remarks like “get some meat on your bones” and “eat a cheeseburger”, despite this being the weight my body sits at naturally. I think the world would be a better place if we all just butted out of other peoples business and appreciated and loved each other for whatever we are, whatever shape we may be. xx

  19. July 1, 2017 / 2:09 am

    People rarely talk about this side of it. It’s very important. Thank you for sharing your story and your opinions!

  20. July 5, 2017 / 1:34 pm

    I’ve always been incredibly petite which I’ve never had a problem with, but I’ve heard so many comments throughout the years critiquing my weight in one way or another. I agree, it’s all in how YOU feel about yourself!

    • July 9, 2017 / 10:05 pm

      So sorry for not replying sooner you went into spam! Yes we are all so different and it’s how we feel about ourselves isn’t it….and I don’t think people realise you can be petite and still receive judgements about your body! Xx

  21. July 17, 2017 / 12:10 pm

    Yes! Amen to speaking out about body image and pointing out how society treats women. I have always been slim and have had constant nasty comments about my weight. But although I would like to be bigger, I am no longer as self-conscious about my weight as I once was. On a positive note I am sorry you had bad comments. I think you look great xx

    • July 17, 2017 / 12:24 pm

      Thanks hun! although I envy people who are naturally slim – mainly because they don’t need to worry too much about what they eat really 😉 but I have experienced being both too thin and too big and when I now hover somewhere in between I can really appreciate my shape and wellbeing!

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