Why My Blog Knocked My Confidence

I’ve been on this blogging journey for just over a year now – admittedly only truly focusing on it in the past 6 months, but the whole thing has been a huge learning curve and I think the main reason I’ve struggled at times is because its not like when you are employed in a ‘normal’ job – you don’t have anybody telling you if you are doing a good enough job?!

With my copywriting and freelance writing work, I get regular feedback from Clients so I know I do a good job for them, but with blogging it takes time to build your audience, find your style and apart from lovely people leaving you comments on your blog and your social media, you don’t get specific feedback on what you’re doing well and not so well with …. and I’ve found that can lead to a huge amount of self-doubt!

But something I then started to struggle with a few months ago was also my appearance and whether I was your typical ‘Blogger type’.

I used to feel I had a style that was distinctive enough to be my own, but not too ‘out there’…. generally on trend, but still a bit edgy at the same time and I felt pretty confident in my image….. and then I started blogging.

I started questioning whether I was chic enough, on trend enough, thin or pretty enough and I had a real wobble in confidence. I’m fine, I’m past it now and I’m back to feeling how I used to, but it’s been an interesting process of starting to compare myself to others both in appearance and the kind of blogs I write.

At the end of the day, how you look is just one part of who you are and there are far more important things to worry about in life – I realise that, but at the same time it’s amazing how feelings about your appearance can affect your confidence… and that can then leak out into other areas of your life so quickly if you let it.

I was really questioning whether I was good enough in pretty much every way imaginable.

It was an alien feeling to me and one that I found very uncomfortable for a while. It’s something I’ve spoken to a fellow Blogger friend about quite a lot over the past six months and she had experienced similar worries of her own, which I suppose made me feel a little less insecure …. so that support and then a specific thing, or rather a process if you like, has pulled me out of it and I’m feeling good about myself again!

Basically, sorting my wardrobe out, sorted my head out!! Sounds a bizarre link I know, but trust me….

So my wardrobe was a total mess, I only wore about a third of it and I couldn’t see a lot of what I had as everything was crushed together in a vaguely organised fashion. My wardrobe was getting fuller and fuller, yet I always felt I didn’t have much to wear.

It majorly needed sorting out so I started researching – looking at capsule wardrobes and minimalism (definitely not for me!), thinking about different styles and how I would ideally like to dress and staring at my wardrobe, pondering on better ways to organise it.

As I was armpit deep in unworn and unloved clothes, I gave myself a bit of a talking to – plenty of people are reading my blog, my DA is good and brands are paying to work with me so there wasn’t really any evidence to suggest I wasn’t doing well enough…. and as for my style, well I had a ton of beautiful clothes so what was I worrying about?! Blogging seems to go through phases of obsessions with specific styles like marble, rose gold and slogan t-shirts and quite honestly I think it’s put me off those things for life! (no offence if you love those, but I’ve just got a bit sick of them!)

I am a unique person with my own personality and my own style so why should I be worrying about looking like a load of other people? People tell me they like my style and if that’s the case they will probably like my blog and if they don’t, well that’s fine isn’t it because there are plenty of other bloggers for them to follow and appreciate?

I had just let my doubts and a bit of negativity overcome me for a while!

So I sorted my wardrobe out, and in the process I sorted my head out too…. and doing this big clear out has reiterated to me that I know who I am, I know what makes me feel and look good, I know what kind of person – and blogger – I am …. and screw comparing myself to everybody else!

I’m not speaking about this for sympathy, reassurance or anything like that – just to explain how I came about creating my style guide!


Along the way I came up with a simple way of defining my style and organising my wardrobe once and for all …. and it really worked!

Because I found the process so helpful, I wrote my style download that is:

‘5 Simple Steps to Develop Your Personal Style… And Organise Your Wardrobe in the Process’

Its yours to download for free – I had it produced by a Designer and I’m pleased with the way it has all come together so I really hope you like it!

Get yours here:


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28 Comments

  1. November 12, 2017 / 7:46 pm

    Good for you! As a blogger who’s only just beginning the process of monetizing, and I feel like turning the corner on blogging is also making me have a lot of self doubt. I’d love to hear more!!

    • November 12, 2017 / 7:53 pm

      Ah it can feel quite daunting can’t it, you’ve got to try to put your blinkers on and just focus on what you are doing rather than looking at other people and questioning yourself… but it’s difficult I know! If you ever want to chat you know where I am! X

  2. November 12, 2017 / 11:08 pm

    I’m so glad someone else feels this way! There are so many amazing people in this industry, and it is hard not to compare yourself!

    • November 13, 2017 / 4:15 pm

      Hi Kelly, yes it is really hard not to compare yourself isnt it! In the end I just realised it doesn’t get me anywhere wasting energy on what other people are doing when I could be putting that into something more positive?! Just be you X

  3. November 12, 2017 / 11:10 pm

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s hard not to play the comparison game.

  4. November 13, 2017 / 1:48 am

    Great post! I share the same feelings. It’s so hard to not compare yourself to other bloggers. I’m glad you shared this and have stuck to your true self even if it’s hard at times!

    • November 13, 2017 / 4:13 pm

      Thanks Olivia! Writing this post has made me realise how many other people have struggled with the same sort of feelings while blogging… which is a shame, but I do think we will be stronger for it in the long term x

  5. November 13, 2017 / 3:59 pm

    Yesss to everything written in here lovely! Our uniqueness shouldn’t be our curse but a great reason to celebrate <3 I am not saying I'm completely sorted out when it comes to self-confidence (as in both your looks and skills) but I've definitely come a long way. And going through my wardrobe will be the task for the next week, with your lovely guide it shouldn't be that difficult!

    • November 13, 2017 / 4:11 pm

      Isn’t it funny how having a good clear out helps your mind as well?! The whole thing just reinforced that I just need to be, and do, me and let go of any worries related to anybody else! Ooh I look forward to hearing all about your wardrobe sort out 🖤

  6. November 14, 2017 / 6:34 pm

    The blogging world and social media in general is really tough because there is so much out there to compare yourself to! It’s really important to take a step back and put things into perspective. Easier said then done at times! I definitely think everyone feels that way at times 🙂

    • November 16, 2017 / 2:09 pm

      Yes you are so right and I’m sure a lot of bloggers feel the same way… we do absolutely have to keep things in perspective!

  7. November 14, 2017 / 10:26 pm

    Great post! I know personally as a newer blogger (first year) there have been so many times that I question whether or not I’m cut out for this. If I let myself, I can get into a downward spiral quickly. But when I take a step back, I always come back to the question, how can I help others? How can my writing, my stories, help someone else. And I keep at it. Although it can seem like there’s so much out there, we all have something unique to offer the world! So let’s keep at it, bloggers!

    • November 14, 2017 / 10:57 pm

      Yes you are so right, we are all unique and have something to offer 🙂 I’ve found that the more I have these confidence wobbles and overcome them, the easier it is to do so? And yes just have to keep on blogging on! 😂

  8. November 15, 2017 / 9:55 pm

    I can’t believe you’ve only been blogging for just over a year, it seems longer. Sorry to hear you had a temporary wobble, but well done on conquering it and writing your style guide!

    • November 16, 2017 / 2:08 pm

      Thank you so much and thank you for subscribing to my style guide! 🖤

  9. November 15, 2017 / 11:31 pm

    Personally, I think you are awesome and I love your honesty in this post. Self-doubt can creep in under various circumstances. I am glad you found your way.

    • November 16, 2017 / 2:07 pm

      Thank you! Yes it’s amazing how easily these doubtful thoughts can come in isn’t it x

  10. November 16, 2017 / 4:29 am

    loooove the honesty! but you are chic as hell and I love your style. I’m glad you are getting your confidence back.

    • November 16, 2017 / 2:06 pm

      Oh thank you that’s so kind… I’m not looking quite so chic in my pyjamas today haha 😉

  11. November 16, 2017 / 12:56 pm

    What an awesome way to clear your thoughts and come out on top again. We all need a bit of time for clearing and reorganizing our emotions every once in a while. Glad you found your stride again.

    • November 16, 2017 / 2:05 pm

      Thank you, yes I feel good and strong about it all again now!

  12. November 16, 2017 / 4:27 pm

    Tiffany, First of all, You are Beautiful, inside & out! Love your style and I really love this post. Your transparency and self-honesty are so real for a lot of women. And you are a stylist of clothes (so to speak) and what a cool way to bring about cleaning and clearing the closet, physically and metaphorically.

    Grat post!

    • November 19, 2017 / 1:24 pm

      Thank you for such kind words 💜 it’s amazing how a good clear out in the house can clear your brain of negative stuff as well!

  13. November 18, 2017 / 10:39 pm

    i feel the same way sometimes with the whole confidence, not sure if it’s good enough, etc.. this is really inspiring and i think you are doing an amazing job and don’t ever change.

  14. November 19, 2017 / 1:27 pm

    I think we all go through it in those early days, but look how far you’ve come. There must be something in this reorganisation, it seems as good for the mind as anything, My blog never really took off until I found my own voice, the one that was there that I was too scared to use. The best thing I did was take the shackles off.

    • November 19, 2017 / 4:06 pm

      That’s really good advice thank you David 💜

  15. November 19, 2017 / 8:44 pm

    I do feel the same way sometimes like if my work is good enough, am I doing it the right way, etc. I can relate to your post and you have done an amazing job on your work front.

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